January 19, 2012

Rambling on Immaturity and Worries...

(I wrote this April 7th 2011)
I was thinking about this last night out of the blue... worry, fear, anger, stress, anxiety, etc. etc. only show how immature we really are. We may have all the "maturity" in the world, but if we are allowing these things listed to run our lives, it kind of makes us no different then we were 10/20 yrs ago. The word shows us exactly what to do with worry fear etc etc... so we must get off our "high horses of I'm more mature then you are" and humble ourselves before our Lord and give Him everything we hold onto.

I spent a good decade or so living in fear/ worry, it ran my life, I couldn't do anything because I feared something would go wrong. I questioned everything because of fear which then turned into anger stress and anxiety and depression so bad I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. I was a mess.
As soon as I learned that what I was doing was sin, I started looking up in my bible everything that spoke about these above things. Growing up I was told, and told others, that I had always been mature for my age... but with everything running my life, I'm thinking I wasn't as mature as I thought I was.
I did learn things regarding life before some others, but was I stumped from growing in the Lord even more during this time of darkness? I can't go back and change anything from my past but I know that I can hopefully encourage others who are dealing with the same thing.
It is our choice how we are going to respond to each day and when we allow our worries to take reign we are being lazy and the Lord does not like laziness. Slap yourself, pick yourself up and choose to fight choose to be happy choose to allow the Lord to bless you in your day because He wants to... Do not wallow in sin because one day you'll regret it. See the sin and choose to walk in the other direction.

I'm choosing to have a good day, I'm choosing, even through the pain I woke up to, not to worry or fear anything that's in front of me. The Lord has already gone before us and we need to remind ourselves that every day.

I do have to say that at times I still struggle with these things I listed... but it doesn't have the hold that it use to on me... I'm afraid of heights but there have been times that I have leaned over to look down despite my fear. It's the only way to get over it.

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