March 28, 2013

Fat Girl Screaming Mad Over Here!

Another year older and frustrated as all heck with the fact that I should have been taking care of myself these past 10 yrs and now I'm paying the consequences and have become what I never wanted to be. It is so hard to take care of you when you have four other people in your life that need your attention on top of a house that demands you take care of it as well. 
I just need to lose 60lbs at most. If I could lose 10lbs a month I would feel so much better and my insides would be so much more happier. 
Every time I go to work out and stick with it, something happens. I'm either in pain or I get sick. There is never a good time. And the energy to do anything always comes right before the weekend. 
It's ridiculous and I'm so sick of it. Food isn't satisfying anymore, haven't really been wanting it, but when I do eat... it feels like to much.
This struggle is one that has been lost so many times that in the end I just want to give up and then another few lbs add on. What a never ending battle and when the right encouragment isn't there it only makes it 100 times harder. 
I think if I get pissed off bad enough that will kick me into gear and I will finally win this battle... although I know this may go on for the rest of my life, but at least it may be a bit easier as I go. I want to finish my 30's and head into my 40's feeling like I'm a kid again not like some 80/90 yr olds. Only a couple more years to go, so time to make it count! 
Lord help me!

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