It's so hard being a parent. I keep thinking it could get easier and we do have those moments, but than a new chapter begins and we start all over again learning something new. It drives me crazy.
I just realized today that I want to take "the easy out". And honestly there really isn't one like there was or that there seemed to be when I was their age.
Used to home school the kids and let me tell ya I tried really hard to be what I thought other people wanted me to be. But my heart wasn't in it and I would constantly over load myself with "they need this curriculum, and this isn't working, and we could do this!" All the time! For myself I couldn't stay focused on one thing and than having three small children needing different kinds of attention. Well, it just wasn't working well for any of us. I did more yelling than teaching and we had a lot of off days than on.
Wish it wasn't that way sometimes and I know we would home school again if need be. I'm open to it now. But I'm going to do my darnedest to keep up with what the kids are doing and supplement what they aren't getting in class. Keep telling myself that when they aren't in school, be it a day off or a long break, that I will have school work for them to do here. Doesn't seem to happen.
I just overwhelmed myself today and I'm emotionally tired. Feeling like a failure. But I know deep down that I'm not. I'm a good mom, and I'm doing my best and that's all I can do. Because there isn't a manual for raising kids. Each person is different and we can only take one day at a time and pray to God that everyone of us learned something good out of it that we can take into tomorrow.