September 26, 2012

Gosh, it's been over a month since I last wrote something.
Just haven't felt like it.
Thought we just started September, but we only have 4 days left then October will hit! Craziness this life we live.

Kids are enjoying school, but I'm already tired of the routine. LOL this happens to me every school year, you'd think I would be use to it by now. I'm just not a morning person.

Started doing the C25K thing last week. Not a fan of running because of my stupid knees and actually would prefer to walk, less impact. But I'm doing it with a friend and that helps. I lost some weight but it seems I'm stuck and I haven't lost much. Really really annoying. I have 60+ lbs to lose to be in a healthy bracket... But it's going so slow!

Had a bit of a struggle a week ago. OK, it was a big struggle. Panic attacks are so rare in my life, I've only had 5 since 1998. That is counting this last one. But this one was the biggest I've ever had! It was also the first time that my husband wasn't with me and it lasted all day. I did my best to focus on the good, listening to the bible, worship music up loud to drown out what was going on in my head, talking with others who were all praying for me all day. Even got myself to bible study that night. But I just couldn't stop my body from completely freaking out. The tingling and tightness in my body was just to overwhelming and I ended up leaving bible study early and got my husband to take me off to the ER. They got me in right away hooked my heart up to a monitor so they could watch my heart. Which was perfect, there were a couple times that it dropped to 70 and that wasn't helping me. So got my first EKG and then they dosed my up with two shots in the hip. Benedryl, muscle relaxer and Lolrazipam (sp?) That help greatly! My hip is still a bit achy though. OUCH! 
Anyhow yesterday was the first day I felt normal again. Feeling much better, still struggling a little but it's nothing compared to those few days. 

My body is very sore, but it's manageable, over did the running yesterday so taking it a bit easier today and honestly this weather isn't helping. Got to keep my bones warm. Still taking my vemma but I keep forgetting to take it every day. 

I think focus is my goal for the end of this year. I just can't keep focused. I know I'm going into the next stage of menopause so my body is going through a few loops in this roller coaster of life. But I really wish I could focus better on everything I do.
The Lord is good though and I'll get through all of this as I've gotten through everything else in my life. 
He never gives me anything I can't handle. He is always there to help me when I'm in need and weak. 
I'm grateful even if life is a struggle at times.
It's all good. 

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